Step-babies...do they make you change your mind about your babies???

Well, I am torn between having my very own babies, and not having my very own babies.  Now don't get me wrong, I love all the little Cosby Step-Babies that are now in my life, but ever since I have gotten married I haven't been so sure I want to have babies of my own....

My whole life I have always thought I would have 2 or 3 kids and I even had a schedule for it :) Like that ever happens!!!!

This is how my schedule went in my mind when I was younger....One can dream right????

1 boy

1 girl (2 years later)

IF....

1 girl came first

1 girl (2 years later, because I didn't want a girl older than her brother)

IF....

1 boy came first

and then.....another boy (came 2 years later)

I would then have another boy (2 years later)

Oh the humor in it all now....if only we could plan when we got pregnant and the sex of what we got pregnant with....I am sure one day that will be possible, but as for now....

As for right now, I am constantly thinking about what decision is the right decision, and all this does is add to my stress level that is already at like a bazillion....thanks to school, work, the Cosby Clan, and whatever else I can get into!!!!  As I am typing this blog post, it has occurred to me that I do not need to worry about this on a daily basis at all.  This is one of those things I am sure I will just realize the answer to one day, and since I have a very loving, supportive husband; he has already assured me that whatever decision I decide on is A OK with him.  But right there in that sentence I have recognized the reason I am failing at making any type of decision at all.  This is not a decision I need to make on my own.  This is not a decision I need to make with only my husband.  This is a decision we have to make TOGETHER with the help of the ALL MIGHTY LORD ABOVE.....

Yep....this is one of those times when venting on my Blog has brought an answer into the light at the tips of my very fingers through my keyboard.....so in thinking about whether or not I am ready, or whether or not little babies are something I want....I will just PRAY, and I am sure through prayer, I will find peace :)