Mama You Taught Me To Do The Right Thing....

I would have to say that this is a blog post 25 years in the making....

Several things have recently happened that have made me revert back to memories of my childhood....things that I don't think are appropriate topic conversations for a public blog, because they don't deal with just my emotions, but they have caused me to relive a lot of painful memories from when I was a little girl....

I am sure all of you have heard the song "Mama's Song" by Carrie Underwood....it is THE PERFECT SONG for a wedding, or a Mother's Day slideshow, or if you just want to make your Mama cry.

If you haven't heard it I have it here for you to become familiar with....

Now where were we.....My Mama was taken from me far too soon, she was the young age of 43 when breast cancer was a battle she just couldn't fight anymore....stage 4 terminal breast cancer is something that I wouldn't wish on my very worst enemy, because that is one of the hardest things I have ever had to see someone endure.  If you are a friend of mine on Facebook I am sure you have noticed posts of mine that talk about me missing my Mama, or remembering her on her birthday.  This is something I told myself I would do in remembrance of the good times with my Mama.....yes I said the good times....which can only lead to the assumption that there were bad times.....A LOT of bad times.....my sister and I say this often.....we LOVED our Mama, but we didn't always like her.....she was a very selfish, unreliable, dishonest, blaming person.  She would ask me a lot "What did I do to deserve this?"  As a teenager in my head I would think that whatever she was questioning was always brought on by herself.  She was one of those people that wanted to blame someone else for every unfortunate thing in her life.  There was always a reason it wasn't her fault, or a reason she shouldn't take the blame.....Now I don't want this blog post to be about me dogging out my mother, especially when she is gone from this earth, and I no longer can pick up the phone and hear her voice.....I miss my Mama terribly, but the reason for this post is that lately a thought has been nagging in the back of mind....it is constantly there, and I am constantly rolling it over and over in my brain.....

If you are a follower of my blog then you know that I started this blog in efforts to become a better step-mama to my beautiful, precious, step-babies.  I never ever want there to be any doubt in their minds that I do not love them, or that they cannot come to me with ANY problems or issues.....with that being said I came across a SUPER FANTASTIC QUOTE today...

My sister and I got hurt a lot....hurt a lot by one of the people in our lives that wasn't supposed to hurt us at all....Our Mama.....But if you look at this quote, and you think about it.....I like to think that my Mama was one of the pieces of sandpaper that I came across in my life that polished me up.....made me shiny and beautiful.....tough and strong......and since my Mama was a piece of sandpaper in my life I made a personal vow to myself....a vow that I would never ever hurt my children the way that she hurt us.....I would never ever walk out on them, or never ever not be there for them.....I vowed to be the best Mama I could be no matter the circumstances, and no matter what I had to sacrifice.  This vow comes into play every single day with my wonderful, amazing, step-babies.  I vow to be the best SMIT I can be...not only for them, but for myself.....I know there are going to be times when I stumble and fall, and things won't turn out quite right.....but if they never ever question my LOVE for them, then I have held up my vow to them and myself....


If you have someone in your life that continually hurts you, or does things that you don't understand remember the quote....they are sandpaper, and the hurt they cause you is only making you stronger.....in the end you will be BEAUTIFUL and STRONG.....and they my friends will only be USELESS!!!!

If you remember the song "Mama's Song" from the beginning of this post....the first four lines are my favorite...

Mama, you taught me to do the right things
So now you have to let your baby fly
You've given me everything that I will need
To make it through this crazy thing called life

My Mama was not the best role model, she did not set the best examples, and there were even times when we didn't even know if she would be around, but in "LACKING" as a Mama, my Mama did teach me to do the right thing, and she did give me a lot of what I need to get through this crazy thing we call life.....in being a piece of sandpaper, she taught me how to be a FANTASTIC SMIT because of the vow to myself that I would never be the parent she wasn't....and with that vow I am all POLISHED UP and SHINING!!!