An Epiphany of the Utmost...

It's been awhile since my last post, and I have been going through a lot since then.  I have also been putting some of the people that I hold dearest to me through Hell for lack of a better term.  I have been downright catty at times, and in Philly's words "somewhat b*tchy."  Forgive him, he tells it like it is, and sometimes the truth hurts.  I have decided that I have several flaws that I am going to begin working on immediately.  I have close friends that don't point these flaws out; they just love me for who I am....and I want to apologize to them because sometimes the stuff that comes out of my mouth is absolutely INSANE.  I am SO THANKFUL for their love, and friendship, because I know at times it has to be HARD!!!  

This brings me to what made me write today.  I had a realization today.  Granted this realization came while I was picking at my General Tso's chicken and staring aimlessly out the window into the torrential downpour.  (I do some of my best thinking, and writing, in the rain...)

(Image from www.paragonfineart.com)

While lost in thought I started recalling some of my high school friendships compared to the friendships I have today...a lot has changed in these friendships, mostly the people...I used to confide in some wonderful friends, who let me mention have all turned into wonderful women, with that being said; I am no longer close with these women, as some have moved away, and others have taken different life paths, but that doesn't keep me from realizing just how much these friendships have helped mold me into who I am today.  Remember the statement about the present day friends that don't judge??? Well, these high school friends didn't judge either (At least not to my face ;))....Anyway, the characteristics in these two sets of friends that remains the same is that there is no judgment, there is no looking down on me, and there is not ever a time that I can't call and get the friend I so desperately need.  

(Image from www.clintonfamilyfarm.com) 

Now....if I have friends that aren't judgmental...and I have realized that they are only my friends because they don't judge (because lets face it...I have a lot to judge) then why am I such a judgmental person?  That's right, if you didn't know it....I, Heather Cosby, suffer from judgmental disease....

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Okay, lets get down to the nitty gritty....I always have something mean to say...I always have a comment to make, and can always find something that would hurt your feelings if said to your face....I have gotten a few of these hurtful comments on my Facebook statuses back at me as well...I usually laugh it off and act like I don't care, but in reality I am one of the most sensitive, easy to hurt, over dramatic, crybabies that you will ever meet.... Maybe I use the rough judgmental exterior to protect myself...for example, maybe I find something wrong with exhibit A before exhibit A can tear me apart....

(Image from www.knowyourmeme.com)

Either way...today is the day that I am bound and determined to change this judgmental problem I suffer from...It's not going to be easy....I have been a mean person for a long time...it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks...but, I am hoping that the biggest thing I can get out of this....for my family and friends' sake as well as mine....but the biggest, most important, most needed thing I can get out of this is to let go of this judgmental thing I have going on and become more of an understanding person...because for whatever reason it is causing me to harbor some serious ANGER!!!  Anger that is causing me to take my frustrations out on people that do not deserve it, but more than that, they don't understand what is going on with me...and after awhile, the anger is going to cause me to lose some wonderful people...

(Image from www.domainofhope.com) 

So, in ending this, I say to all of you wonderful readers...don't let go of me yet...I am working on it...it will take time...but please know that I, Heather Cosby, will beat this....I don't want to be mad...I don't want to be mean, but most importantly I want wonderful people in my life to help me with the good times as well as the not so good times...

Happy Thursday, and THANKS for stopping by...

What Teacher Do I Want To Become....

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Ever since I was a kid, I have always wanted to be a teacher.  My life path changed due to unforeseen circumstances, but just like everyone who trusts in God’s plan my path was redirected and I am now back on track.  I am thankful for my husband’s continued support and belief in me, because we all know there have been times when I have just wanted to throw in the towel, and stay with the clerical route I am already on.  With all of this being said, I am so fortunate to have the continued support of my family, friends, and fellow educational leadership seeking classmates.  This faith and support have allowed me to become so excited about my future career.  With this excitement comes a deep, burning impatience, the impatience of wanting to be in my very own classroom, with my very own students.  This impatience has allowed me to realize I have finally figured out who I want to be, and where this want came from.  After having experienced 26 years of lessons learned, educational leaders who lifted me up, and educational leaders who at the time I thought pushed me down, I have finally found the educational leader I want to be.  I will take all the pieces of every teacher I have ever had and I will use the pieces to put my personal, educational leadership puzzle together. 

(Image from www.truevined.com)

When putting a puzzle together there are all types of pieces.  There are pieces that have an image on them and when you look at them you can immediately see the entire picture.  Then there are pieces that have filler images on them, and when you look at them you have no idea where they might fit or where they might go in the bigger picture.  All of my educational leaders have these qualities in them themselves.  For example, Mr. Rogers, my favorite teacher of all time is the first puzzle piece listed.  When I look at him I can see one of the smartest, quick-witted, very well put together, men I have ever met.  His image stands alone on a puzzle piece that fits very well into the educational leadership puzzle that has become who I want to become.  On the other hand, Mrs. Evans, my least favorite teacher is most definitely a filler puzzle piece.  I have no idea where her outlandish ways or religious principles fit into my puzzle, but I know that for some reason that piece belongs in my educational leadership puzzle as well. 

(Image from www.gcmeyers.com)

Now that I have painted the picture of an educational leadership puzzle for you, and what I believe mine consists of; I have decided that I want to be the best educational leader I can be.  Right now I have no idea what type of classroom I will be in, and I have no idea what type of school I will begin my journey in.  However, I do know from personal experience with my own teachers that I will not always be loved, I will not always be liked, but I will always be respected.  Mr. Rogers wasn’t always the most popular kid on the block, but he was always respected because he demanded it.  In demanding this respect, I grew to love the man because he was one of the greatest leaders I have ever had.  His educational influence is one that I will always look back on, and even on random Wednesdays there are times when I think about him, and wonder what he may be doing.  I can only hope to reach half of the students he has reached and to influence their lives in the same way I know he influenced mine and my classmates.  He had some way of making me want to be better, and to try harder.  I can only hope that I can make my student’s burn with that type of desire for learning.  I want to be the type of educator they can look back on and know that my classroom is where they became the student that wanted more, or the student that almost went down the wrong path, and that one reading/life lesson changed their outlook and they became the student on the right path.  I can only hope that they will remember me in a positive light, and that I will have given them every ounce of energy I have in the classroom, and because of this, their experience in my classroom will be etched in their mind.

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My Journey to Becoming Educated

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This post is a little different from my others as it was an actual assignment I had to turn in for one of my present grad classes....I thought it showed a little more about the person I have become in my 26 years on the planet...

My Journey to Becoming Educated

               I was four years old, had jet black hair, a tan that would make Pocahontas jealous, tom-boyish tendencies, and I loved to talk.  Not only was I one year younger than everyone else in my class, I was an over-aggressive, super excited, extremely talkative member of Mrs. Walker’s kindergarten class.  Looking back on it now, I am almost one hundred percent positive I would have been every kindergarten teacher’s nightmare, but my lack in age 5 maturities set aside, I was a good student, excelled in my academics, as well as kept up with the other members of my class.  My grandmother says my excellent achievement was due to my early years spent at the local Kindercare, I think it’s because I was simply an amazing four year old.

               Ok, that last statement leads me to the characteristics that got me through the rest of elementary school, up into junior high, made fun of all throughout high school, and hated in undergrad, simply put these characteristics are sarcasm and confidence.  Alone these are the two things that have molded me into the somewhat hard to take, slightly obnoxious, at times hard headed, K-6 Collaborative Alternative Master’s seeking student sitting here right now.  It’s a lot harder to take in the type of person I am when it is actually put in writing, but all of these things have given me the courage, strength, intelligence, and drive it has taken for me to enroll, and excel in grad school at Auburn University in Montgomery (AUM).

               Regressing back to high school, I used all of the aforementioned characteristics to participate in every female sport offered at Autauga Academy, including basketball, softball, and cheerleading.  I also participated in every club or organization that I could, including but not limited to, Spanish Club, Science Club, the Yearbook Staff, the Newsletter Staff, and the Senior Beta Club.  I have often looked back on my high school career laughing, because while I was in school I thought I was super cool, and popular, now I know that I was actually a loser and the truth of the matter is, I was pretty dorky.  Using my experience in athletics, multi-tasking several classes, clubs, and practices, I tried out for cheerleader at a junior college in little old Wadley, Alabama, and what do you know?  I made it.  My freshman year of college was what I like to classify as predetermined, because the Grandmother that was mentioned in paragraph one wasn’t allowing her granddaughter to throw away a free education, so I packed my bags and became an inhabitant of the dormitories of Southern Union State Community College (SUSCC). 

               Being forced to go to SUSCC was the best thing that could have happened to me.  Having attended a very small high school, I wouldn’t have done well in the real world of the large four year university in a buzzing college town, because I just wasn’t disciplined enough to crack down and hit the books.  A small town without a red light and the nearest town with a Wal-Mart being over 20 miles away is probably the sole reason I didn’t flunk out of my freshman year.  I did pass my freshman year with A’s and B’s, but then at the end of my second college semester the cheerleading program was cut from SUSCC.  Having already planned to transfer to the University of Alabama at the end of my two year stint at SUSCC, I tried out for the cheerleading squad at Shelton State Community College (SSCC) in Tuscaloosa just to see what would happen.  What do you know?  I made it there too!  So I spent another year cheering at a junior college, but my academics didn’t fare so well.  I did really well my first semester at SSCC receiving A’s and B’s in all of my classes, but then in my second semester the party bug bit hard and my academic achievements suffered so severely I almost flunked out.  My academic troubles pushed to the back of my mind, I tried out for the cheerleading squad at the University of Alabama and what do you know?  I didn’t make it.  I bet you didn’t know that.  In hindsight it was a master part of God’s plan for my life because if I had stayed in Tuscaloosa I more than likely would have flunked out of college sealing my fate in the waitressing industry. 

               Since the cheerleading door had been shut at the University of Alabama, my mother sent me on another path.  She told me that Troy University hadn’t had their tryouts yet so I should try out there.  Giving cheerleading one more shot at the collegiate level, I tried out for the Trojans’ All Girl squad and as luck would have it, I would make it there.  I packed my bags and moved from one T-town to another.  After talking to an athletic advisor I was informed that I could not get my teaching degree in the next two years.  This negative news was of my own doing since I didn’t pass one single class in the second semester of my sophomore year at SSCC.  My grandmother wasn’t too happy about having to fund more than four years of tuition, so it was decided that I would major in a program I could get a degree in, in two years. 

My grandmother always thought I was the best writer/speaker in high school, and with this being her decision, my new college path was broadcast journalism.  Troy was my home for the next two years, and since I had enough of the failing classes’ game; I got myself together and graduated from Troy University with a B.A. in Broadcast Journalism in the summer of 2007.  For the next two and a half years I waited tables and bartended at a local restaurant in my hometown.  Although I made enough money to be a responsible member of society, I wasn’t happy at all.  Working day to day not knowing how much money I was going to bring home stressed me out to no end causing way more gray hairs than any 23 year old should ever have.  Christmas of 2009 my luck would change.  vonGAL Corporation chose to have their Christmas party at Islamorada Fish Company, and I was carefully chosen as their waitress, another part of God’s plan.  After impressing my present boss with my memory and social skills, I received a call a few weeks later asking if I was interested in an Administrative Assistant position that had recently opened up.  Three interviews, and one drug test later I was the new and improved Sales Admin of vonGAL Corporation. 

The increase in income, along with its consistency still wasn’t enough for my aching heart.  I still yearned to be in education, and I still wondered how my life would be if I was molding the lives of young people on a daily basis.  One night’s pillow talk with my husband led me to the decision that I had to know if I was teacher material.  In December of 2010 at 25 years old I applied, tested, and was accepted to the Alternative Master’s K-6 Collaborative program at AUM.  Now, after one full year, eight classes, and over 80 hours of lab and observation hours, I know without a doubt this is where I am supposed to be.  The road may have been somewhat twisted, crazy, and scary but I believe the road I traveled has led me to the person I need to be, but most importantly it has given me the discipline and determination to graduate AUM with my Master’s Degree and a 4.0 GPA.  So far so good!

(Image taken from www.bls.gov)